Why Working with Couples Today Is More Complex (and More Necessary) Than Ever

Couple therapy in today’s context

In recent years, couple therapy has become one of the most in-demand areas of clinical practice.

More and more professionals find themselves working with relationships marked by recurring conflict, emotional distance, or the threat of separation.

As demand grows, the complexity of working with couples has increased significantly, requiring new competencies and a broader reading of relational dynamics.

Intimate relationships no longer serve only as sources of stability or continuity.

Today we expect our partners to provide emotional safety, personal growth, validation, and meaning.

As a result, the romantic bond becomes a space where identity, self-esteem, and belonging are at stake. When this space falls into crisis, the resulting distress is often deep and disorganizing, with a strong impact on the mental health of both partners.

Couples who arrive late to therapy

It is no coincidence that many couples seek therapy after years of silent distress.

 By the time they ask for help, conflict is often entrenched and communication seriously eroded.In these contexts, the therapist cannot limit the work to “managing the problem.”

 It becomes essential to understand the relational dynamics that sustain the distress, beyond its visible symptoms.

Alexandra H. Solomon, clinical psychologist and professor at Northwestern University, points out how contemporary love is strongly shaped by unrealistic expectations.

Beliefs such as the idea that a healthy relationship should not be difficult, or that the “right” partner should understand us without words, lead many couples to interpret difficulties as personal failure rather than as a natural developmental phase of the relationship.

The importance of Relational Self-Awareness

In the therapeutic setting, these expectations often translate into mutual blame, rigid defenses, and great difficulty recognizing one’s own contribution to the relational dynamic.

Here a core clinical competence emerges: Relational Self-Awareness—the ability to observe oneself within the relationship, distinguishing what belongs to one’s personal history from what is activated in the encounter with the other.

Developing this awareness helps partners reduce emotional reactivity, better understand their internal triggers, and open space for more authentic dialogue.

At the same time, it requires the therapist to have specific training that integrates relational theory, emotional work, and careful attention to the cultural and social context in which relationships take shape.

The need for specialized training

For all these reasons, couple therapy today cannot be approached improvisationally.

It requires up-to-date tools, a solid theoretical framework, and the capacity to hold complexity without resorting to simplifications.

These themes form the core of the Couple Therapy Certification by Alexandra H. Solomon—a training pathway designed to support professionals in working with contemporary couples, offering clear, in-depth, and clinically applicable guidance.